Since Corban left, holidays have been a challenge. Christmas has been a struggle. After two years we still haven't figured it out.  We decided not to exchange gifts this year satisfied that both of us could simply log on and buy whatever we want whenever we want anyway.  While I've never agreed with anyone who…

Occasionally my birthday falls on Thanksgiving. As I was growing up, in my kid brain anyway, it was always a bit overshadowed by the holiday, or muted in a sense, but truthfully birthdays weren't that big of a deal in our home.  We weren't neglected, it's just that birthdays back then didn't come with as…

(For Corban)

Two years. I always wondered how I'd respond if something traumatic happened. What would I feel? Would my faith fall apart? I had always brushed those thoughts aside.  Then October 8, 2022 our beautiful son, my best friend suddenly left us. 

This song is written for all of you who have experienced a tragedy, trauma…

 One year and 9 months ago, the dirt beneath me gave way.  I can only speak for myself because everyone affected by my son’s departure from earth into eternity has their own feelings and their own experience.

For me, it was as if I’d suddenly plunged unexpectedly into deep water and into darkness for a time,…

 I was 29 when I lost my dad and 35 when I lost my mom.  Dad left us suddenly.  Mom left us several years later after battling cancer.  Through the years I’ve been asked which is harder: to lose someone suddenly or to lose someone having witnessed their deterioration over time. I have always shared…

AMAZING FATHER'S DAY. Never in a million years did I ever imagine Corban's name floating in space.

 In 2009, our son Corban Scott Goad, was in the 3rd grade, when he won a Tennessee Tech science contest and got to talk to the crew at the International Space Station for STS-129. The…

(Corban & Cody)It occurred to me one day that our grief is sometimes incredibly human-centric. We forget or are less considerate of the grief of our pets.  Sure animals grieve one another, I've witnessed that. But I am more and more convinced that the creatures we are charged with caring for, grieve with us, but…

(The following is a letter to my son Corban who left us just over a year ago)

Hey Kiddo,

First things first. Dude! As I write this the Ravens have a real shot at going to the Super Bowl this year. Things could change but it’s looking really good.  Maybe you’d…

 Our son, Corban was killed in a car accident in October. These days I prefer to say that he left us. It’s more palatable and makes sense because after all, his last words were that he was leaving.  So he left. But death is never palatable, is hard to swallow and the truth is, our…

 Where do you run on the anniversary of your kid's death? We live in a world where anniversaries of all kinds are celebrated---at least joyous, momentous occasions.  But what about a death day? I’ve heard people call it an “angel-versary, or “Heaven Day”.  I’ve declared October 8th simply as the day my family died. At…

 I know you're not there. I tell people, "I know he's not there." "He's not there". And it's true. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt where you are. I am happy for you, and often jealous of you. I know one day, sooner or later, I will step into eternity and as soon…

This weekend was the traditional weekend for college football season openers. I drove home late from Missisissippi, listening to a combination of music on the radio, and sports talk updates.  I'd usually be getting these updates from my son in the form of text messages, or I'd be listening on the couch as he'd make…

 Thoughts from a recent trip to the Pacific North West.---

I saw you on the plane. In a window seat. Silly grin, goofy nervous smile. In a Ravens hat no doubt with the bill flipped up just because.  I saw you in the market.  Over by the ice cream, then the t-shirts and the ball caps.…

 "Gonna Leave" released a little over a month ago. You can find it anywhere you stream music. (It's even been Shazaamed!) We've had some mild successes.  What I love most is the reaction from people who relate to the song. 

We've all experienced those first days of school, getting a driver's license or taking our kids…